Monday, February 9, 2015

The Problem With Music




When I find a playlist on 8tracks that I like, I listen to it as many times as I can (or until 8tracks tells me I've reached the limit of how many times I can listen to it - in which case I listen to it in incognito) and I never get tired of it. Possibly because you can only skip a song three times per hour and so you don't do a lot of skipping or playback.

I like 8tracks. It's nice and fun and I listen to the playlists there when I get bored of my own music library.

If I like a playlist a lot, then I download it and save it on my phone to listen to it as many times as I can. The trouble with that is that since I have the power to skip and playback as many times as I want, it loses it's appeal.

You'd think I would have learned by now but nope.

I remember I found this one playlist "home (is wherever I'm with you", a playlist inspired by Teen Wolf's Scott McCall and Stiles Stilinski.

I loved that playlist so much and after listening to it on 8tracks for about a month, I decided to download to be able to listen to it at school when there's no signal and the school wi-fi blocks the site.

Anyway, big mistake.

Two days after I downloaded it, I grew bored of it.

I don't know why but I did.

Is it because I no longer was within the element of surprise and could be, well, surprised at what song came next, even though I knew every song in the playlist? So I put the playlist on shuffle and that worked... for less than fifteen seconds.

I skipped every song until the playlist made its way all the way to the first song once again.

Was it that I no longer had the custom made album cover that the 8tracks user had made to come along with the playlist? So I downloaded the cover and put it for every song on the list.

That worked until I got annoyed that each song didn't have it's correct album cover and I changed it back less than a day later.

To this day, I have no idea why I start to hate a song or playlist as soon as I download it to my phone.

Yet I still do it...

Oh well. 

Trying and Failing






Nothing sucks more than trying at something really hard but doing not-so-well on it. Especially when it comes to grades.

This year I've been really trying to do all of my work to make up for the previous two years and I've been doing so well in everything except math. I've always known I'm not a math person but I thought that if I did all of my work, then I'd pass with at least a B.

That's not happening.

Last semester I passed with a 79 because I didn't do so well on the tests and that's what always brings my grades down - strangely enough, I passed my final with a 90. It was surprising because I'm a horrible test taker and so I expected to get something akin to a 70 or below.

I didn't have high hopes for myself.

I never do, to be honest. I aim low so if I fail at something, at least I would have reached my goal and it helps me sleep at night.

This semester I've been doing much worse. I currently have a 77 in math because of a couple of quizzes and it sucks so much because I try so hard and I live in constant fear that I won't ever be accepted into a good college or given scholarships because of my bad grades.

Strangely enough, this semester physics is my highest grade.

That was a real life plot twist that I never saw coming since I hate the subject with a passion. I hate it so much - the complicated equations, the long word problems, and the headaches that come along with it.

So I am not exactly sure how I managed to earn and keep a 117 overall grade in that class.

Well, I'm not complaining.

But I slacked off to much in that class because of the high grade. And because of that slacking, I got an 83 on a test which brought my grade down... and also, I haven't done my homework in a while and so my grade slipped into a 99 and then into a 95....

Needless to say, I'm going to start doing my work in that class again.

Lastly, it sucks that lately I'm not doing so well in newspaper.

In the beginning, I loved writing so much. It's why I joined in the first place, but lately I haven't managed to write anything remotely okay. It's not that I don't want to - but it's not that I want to, either.

I lack motivation but at the same time my motivation is that I'll fail if I don't.

I've thought about dropping newspaper for next year since I don't need the credit anyway and it's not like it will affect the newspaper anyway but I can't bring myself to just because I'm going through this again.

"This" meaning ridiculous depression.

That's what my therapist says anyway. Depression is the source of my problem and why I lack motivation. And anxiety why I care so much.

The struggle.

Anyway, I'm not going to drop it but I'm trying really hard to... try in the class. Sometimes I just can't bring myself to do it, but I know that if I put my mind to it, I can do it. At least just to pass the class for now.

Maybe I'll get better and so will my grades, eventually.

Hopefully.

Tuesday, January 13, 2015

CW's Supernatural Renewed for an 11th Season


"Truth is, I'm tired, Sam. And, I don't know, it's like there's a light at the end of the tunnel." 

-Dean Winchester to Sam



 supernatural season 9 episode 3 sam dean Supernatural Season 10, 11 (& More) Will Happen if Ratings Hold



    Supernatural has always been one of my favorite shows - I'm pretty sure everyone knows that. I mean, I own a Supernatural backpack and I turn around when someone says 'Supernatural', 'Dean', 'Sam', or 'Winchester' at a much quicker speed than I do when someone calls out my own name. 
It's pretty safe to say that I'm a huge fan of the show, have been for the past couple of years and it has ruined me, my GPA, and my life. I never expected to get so into it when I first started watching the show. 

 I remember putting it off for about a year because I was too scared to watch it by myself. When I did watch the first episode, I was terrified, just like everyone else who has watched it. The first season was filled with blood and monsters and emotional turmoil and side-character deaths. I was so into it - the show, the actors, and the story lines gripping at me and never letting me go do my homework to keep my grades up. 

 (To be fair, I've been such a huge procrastinator since the sixth grade when I found out I was able to do a month's worth of work for a major science project the night before AND get the highest grade in the class -- I never looked back after that.) 

 Many Supernatural fans would say that season 1 is the 'happy' season even though it's heart-wrenching and LIFE RUINING and makes me hate myself for daring to feel somewhat happy at times when the Winchesters (especially Dean) suffered. 

 It only got worse from there.

 Season 2 was where things picked up and one event lead to a series of other events that eventually caused the almost-Apocalypse in season 4... complete with the Horse Men and Lucifer. The Winchesters almost ended the world as we know it but in the end, they fixed it... for a price. Sam, possessed by Lucifer (as he was his True Vessel and Dean was Michael's) threw himself into The Cage of Hell to trap Lucifer in it and stop the Apocalyse, and Michael, possessing the body of Sam and Dean's new-found half-brother, Adam, went in. 

 While Sam was pulled from the Cage, Adam is still down there and hasn't been shown concern. 

 You'd think that season 4 would be when the show would wrap up and say, "hey guys, there's only so many times we can kill a white male character and bring him back to life and kill off all females except the lesbians." 

Originally, season 4 was supposed to be the end, but due to the high ratings, it was picked up for a fifth season and once again, a series of events led to others and it's like a domino effect. 

 Now here we are, mid-season 10 and it has been announced that Supernatural has been picked up for an 11th season and all I can say is GROAN. 

 (On another note, The Flash has been picked up for a season season YAAAAAAS!) 

 As I've said before, there's only so many times a show can kill a character off and then bring him back to life. After so many times, it gets boring and expected and it loses the emotional appeal to it. 

 When Dean died at the end of season 9, sure, I cried because of the way he was killed, I cried because of his brother's reaction and Dean's 'supposedly' last words ("Sammy, I'm proud of us.") and while I was sad, I wasn't worried. I told myself, "Dean will either come back to life before the end of the episode... there's like five minutes left, or in the beginning of the first episode next season"). 

 I was right. Dean came back to life thirty-seconds before the credits rolled and while I was horrified that Dean wasn't human anymore... the knowledge that Dean hasn't met his end yet was disappointing to no end. 

I love Dean Winchester as much as Stiles Stilinski loves Scott McCall (Teen Wolf) with all his daddy-issues and screwed up way of thinking. I love Dean because I see myself in him, I can relate to him on an emotional level and I find myself understand his reasoning. I love him because we share the same past, well, me without the hunting monsters and burning mom part. 

 I also love Sam Winchester and his desire to be different and get a good education. I love him for his determination and how he's not perfect. He's been swayed to the dark side a couple of times like in season 4 when he trusted a demon and drank demon blood. No big deal, Sam Winchester is a great character with just as many flaws as Dean. 

 I love these two characters so much and if one, or both, of them died I know there would be no more Supernatural. 

As much as I love the show, I don't think it was a good idea to renew it for an 11th season. Fans will eventually tire of it and the queer-baiting and the sexism and the show will not be remembered as one of the greatest fantasy/thriller shows out there but as the long-running annoying show. 

 (Maybe I'm just bitter because Jensen Ackles won't accept an offer from Marvel or DC to play a superhero. He would have made a fine Clint Barton, let's be real.)

 While I am not happy with another season, I will hesitantly watch it to show my support for the actors.

(On another note, watch Agent Carter.)


 







Wednesday, October 29, 2014

The "Emergency" Room



Last night I went to the emergency room at the hospital because a friend was very sick. He felt very weak and dizzy and he was about to pass out. The closest hospital to us is the Seton Southwest Hospital and so we went there so that we could get him looked at as soon as possible. 

When we got there, I signed him in and despite the fact that there was nobody else in the waiting room, we sat there waiting for about half an hour. 
I asked him if he wanted to go to the hospital downtown, since I know that they attend to a patient quickly but he refused, saying that it was almost his turn anyway. Ten more minutes passed and then they finally called him in. 

The nurse was the most rude person I've ever met. She practically manhandled him and then spent five minutes asking us questions - which I could have answered by myself but she insisted that he had to be present. I was extremely angry by then. I'm already not a patient person at all and lose my temper quickly, but this time it was worse but I had to calm myself down because I was afraid that if I was rude to the nurse, she would purposely take much longer than they've already had.

In the end, we ended up spending the night at the hospital because he fainted and threw up blood all over the floor and had a fever. Right now he's still in the hospital and I am sadly at school. 
I just hope the nurses are treating him all right. 

Apple Pay


    
   

When I got the iPhone 6, I was more excited for Apple Pay than for the phone itself. When Apple Pay finally became available on the 20th of October. I was happy that I was finally going to be able to just walk in, get what I need and place my phone directly in front of the register and I wouldn't have to take out my card as often. 
Also, I tend to forget my card a lot at home, so Apple Pay was a huge plus. 
Turns out, I can't activate Apple Pay on my phone. The bank which my mom and I are with are being difficult. I need to actually go to the bank to speak with a representative and get everything set up there. There is an app for it though, so I downloaded it, thinking that it would be easier. 

 It wasn't. 

 The app is a huge fail. All it asks me is to enter the phone number of the Apple device of which I want my card to be connected with but when I do, it won't allow me to go ahead. The app should be taken off the App Store. 

 I was excited for Apple Pay but after the difficulties, it wears off after a while. At least the phone is cool.

Tuesday, September 23, 2014

If you expect the worst, you'll never be disappointed


“If you expect the worst, you'll never be disappointed.” 

― Sarah Dessen, Lock and Key


I'm a pessimist. 

My mom always gets on my case for a lot of things such as not being optimistic, not smiling enough, for not looking at the bright side.

But how can I look at the bright side when there isn't one?

She always looks at me with this one frustrated face when she asks me, "How do you think you did on the test?" and I respond with, "I don't know, probably a fifty."

She yells at me to aim higher and I just stay silent because I don't want to aim higher as if I do and I fail, I’ll be disappointed, but if I aim low, I will reach my goals and avoid disappointment. I gain more satisfaction from aiming low, such as thinking I got a fifty on a test and finding out I got a hundred. It makes me content and I don't know what's wrong with that.

If you ask my mom, a lot of things are wrong with me.

My mom is under the impression that I am bitter and in denial.
Which I am not.

I don't look at life through rose-colored glasses. I just look at the bad side of things, I guess.

My mom laughs when the phone rings and I say, "Probably one of those sales people." She laughs when I tell her to look both ways before crossing the street or she'll get run over. Or there was this one time in middle school when I signed up for sign language classes in case they came in handy one day, but then decided not to because it was no use since I wouldn't learn anything anyway.

I don't know why I look at the down side of things.
Copyright © 2014 It's a Terrible Life